If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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