saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
