dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
