I faked an abortion last night.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Come on in and take your pants off
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