was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
