she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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