We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
is wine microwaveable?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The Olympian is in my bed
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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