So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
