hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
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The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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