I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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