Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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