dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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