I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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