its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
