Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
