I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
