the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
