was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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