I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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