YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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