I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
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I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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