Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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