Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
