I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
