i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Randomize
