What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
