lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
