thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
