there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm sobbing to NWA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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