Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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