sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
