dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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