He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
