i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
