that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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