im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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