I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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