why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
