So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
