i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
