hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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