sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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