out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
