I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
