we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
