How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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