bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
accomplished twins. life is a go
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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