There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
