he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
