I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We are two peas in an std pod
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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