ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I want her autograph on my taint
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He did a backflip because drugs
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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