Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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