Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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