I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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