sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
NoShamevember. You game?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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