remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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