I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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