Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
