My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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