I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
