Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
