I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
