hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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