Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
