It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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