I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
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I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
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Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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