Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
